Faith Unwavering

I am being challenged about my faith right now. I'm not saying an individual is challenging on my beliefs. I'm saying that I am being challenged in my FAITH.

As a child, I had unwavering faith. I believed God beyond a shadow of a doubt. I knew He could do anything and would answer. As I grew older, doubt and unbelief entered in. The older I get, the more I doubt. I have come to a place where there's little that I believe and much that I doubt. :/ not good.

Many of you have already heard my story about waiting for my Beloved. If not, please find my previous blog posts or my blog for my Beloved. At some point (probably soon) I will record the full story again just in case I have not yet done so. Anyway, I have been waiting 10 years for my Beloved. I know God will bring him to me because He promised Him to me. However, I'm finding it difficult to believe it will ever come to pass. I hope, but I do not believe. I know, it sounds like I'm contradicting myself. In my heart I know, but in my head I doubt. Make sense?

So that brings me to some current events taking place. A few weeks or so ago, I thought about the dead being raised. I don't remember the complete thought process, but I remember it being an odd thought. Fast-forward to current events. There's a young man whose body was found recently. The family and many others are praying for him to be brought back to life. There are many who are able to believe without wavering that it will happen. I do find my thoughts a couple of weeks ago a bit ironic. But can I join my faith with these who believe? I'm having a difficult time doing so. I find myself praying that God's will be done, but I cannot seem to wrap my mind around truly BELIEVING that it will happen. :/ This really makes me sad that I have lost faith so easily. I remember the little girl I was who believed with faith unwavering. And now I am so jaded that I barely believe anything. God, help me with my unbelief. :(

For info about the young man I mentioned, go here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/364694933601586/