I was invited to attend church with a friend over the weekend. Since I am working to not be so judgmental against church people, I accepted. I think a part of me was hoping God's presence would be there. But alas, it was just another dead service to me. :/
Anyway, that's not the point. I went in to Sunday school and they were talking about encountering trials, etc. One of the scripture passages they used was Hebrews 10. I groaned inwardly when I realized Hebrews 10:25 was there. I just knew they were about to talk about why it's important for people to be in church, etc. But they didn't. As I was reading the passage, a light switch turned on about the meaning of Hebrews. Basically what it was saying is, "When things get tough, don't go into hiding and try to bear it alone. Reach out to other believers and be vulnerable to them. Let them carry part of the load." Wow. Sure paints a different picture than "YOU MUST ATTEND CHURCH, YOU DIRTY HEATHEN!"
I still struggle with feeling judged. I feel like church people think I'm not "good enough" or that they're trying to "save" me. I can't help but be on guard. :/ Yesterday I had an incidence in which I felt this was true. There's a guy I was interested in finding out more about, but my gut told me that my friend wasn't supportive of it. I hadn't voiced my interest until yesterday. I had this distinct feeling that when I finally did get an answer from her, it was just to get me discouraged about him. I feel like she thinks I'm a backslider, a heathen, someone in need of salvation. Maybe she doesn't, but that's how I feel. And I feel like she thinks that because I don't go to church, I wouldn't be a good match for anyone who does. Maybe she's right, but not for those reasons.
Anyway, I doubt many people read this, but I just needed to get it out there. I think next time someone throws Hebrews 10:25 in my face, I'm going to sit down with them and read it in context and point out what the writer was actually saying.
