A Lily Among Thorns

This morning, a silent rage (long dormant) has been awakened. It's not so much about religion as it is about the general state of modern humanity. I've had this soapbox for years about femininity and masculinity. This morning I encountered someone I used to know and love and found myself appalled at the self-centeredness I observed. I realized once again that this seems to be the general state of humanity as a whole. Yet again, my ire was fueled.

I often remark that I was born in the wrong era. I should have been born back in Victorian times, when women were expected to be lady-like and men were expected to be chivalrous. Crude behavior was kept on the down-low, not exhibited in public. I marvel at how times have changed, but not in a good way. I'm appalled at the endangerment of chivalry and sacred femininity.

My encounter this morning reminded me how lucky I am to be single. This person was one whom I held in high regard for many years. He was my first love who set the stage for all future encounters. Now as I view his character, I wonder how it is that I ever cared for him. It's great to get closure and put to rest those fairytale memories of how things were. I'm remembering in sharp clarity the true nature of our "love," which was not love at all. After all, we were kids. I used to miss how he made me feel all those years ago. But now, I wouldn't trade my singleness for it. All the loneliness in the world couldn't make me lower my standard to be with someone so self-centered. I would rather have a gentleman who treats me right, who loves me for all my good qualities (not just my physical attributes) than to be with someone who makes me melt physically but lacks in moral character.

I was somewhat saddened by my encounter, truthfully. I felt sorry for this person. I look at my own heart and realize I still have the capacity for love. I have an open heart with a propensity for true love. But this person does not have the capacity for love. He is so caught up in the pleasures of this life that he will never be able to open his heart to pure love. I am so thankful that Abba has kept me pure. I am thankful that I can see with clarity the purity of my own heart.

I find myself longing to stand out from other women. For too long I've blended in. I'm kept myself at a mundane level. I've lowered the standard for myself and allowed myself to be jaded. I've convinced myself that it's okay to be mediocre and take the middle road. But today I'm reminded that I'm born to be royalty. I'm not supposed to be like everyone else. I'm supposed to raise the standard and live a life of purity pleasing to my True Love. I'm supposed to be a lily among thorns, the model of sacred femininity. It's time to be a true lady. In so doing, I hope to be invisible to men who are not chivalrous but stand out to the ones who are.