Ramblings of a Former Slave to Religion Vol. 2

Ramblings of a Former Slave to Religion Vol. 2

by Maegan Verrett on Friday, June 17, 2011 at 9:05pm

When I was 9 years old, I was sitting in my desk at school one day. I saw an angel appear in the seat next to me, where the boy was absent that day. I knew the angel was there to give me a message, but I didn't know what it was. I always carried my bible in my backpack; so after school while I was waiting on my bus to be called over the loudspeaker (sn: my bus's name was Snoopie ;p it was always the last bus called), i pulled my bible out of my bag and prayed for God to show me why the angel was there. Expecting an answer, I opened up my bible and lo and behold, this passage was before me. Acts 26:16, 17, and 18 (from memory, so if it's not 100% accurate, forgive me. I memorized it 18 years ago). "Now get up and stand on your feet. For I have appeared to you for this purpose: to make you a witness of both the things you have seen of me and the things I will yet reveal to you. I will deliver you from your own people and from the Gentiles. I am sending you to the Gentiles to open their eyes from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God so that they may receive an inheritance among those who are sanctified by faith in Me." 

At the time, I knew I was called to preach. I prayed and asked God every night, "WHEN?" A year later, I was in Gilchrist, TX (on the Bolivar Peninsula off the coast of Galveston). My pastor's wife prophesied over me many times; once saying that God was giving me a ministry similar to Kathryn Kuhlman's. At the tiime I had no clue who Kathryn Kuhlman was, so I began to study her life and ministry. I was eager to accept the call on my life. A year later I was giving my testimony at a minister's conference, and God told an apostle and a prophet to ordain me. I received my ordination at the tender age of 11. When I was at that church, I preached. Adults and children alike sat and listened to me as I spoke of the revelations God had given me of the scripture at that time. "Out of the mouth of babes..."

Let's fast forward to a not-so-tender age of 16. I was back in Oklahoma, hating high school, but still seeking after God with everything in me. I had dismissed the prophecy spoken over me about Kathryn Kuhlman. It had not come to pass, so I just put it on the back burner, saddened that it hadn't come to pass yet. One day, I walked into the church and this man, whom i wasn't all that fond of, pulled me aside and said, "God showed me something about you. Have you ever heard of Kathryn Kuhlman?" My mouth dropped open and tears filled my eyes. He smiled, knowing that the message had been delivered. I was amazed that God had not forgotten that calling on my life. I was still hungry, still longing to fulfill that calling.

Eleven years later, that calling has all but been forgotten. I have grieved the death of the calling, not understanding how I could possibly fulfill it now. I am not a church person. I have NO desire to go to church or be shackled again by the bonds of religion. So how could I possibly be a minister again? How could I possibly preach and be the vessel Yahweh uses to perform miracles? I have wondered this many times over the years and rejected the call on my life, dismissing it as impossible. Today, I was thinking about the woman who spoke over me. I asked my mom to ask her if she remembered speaking that over me. As we talked about that prophecy, I spoke my doubts and concerns about it. My mom began responding to what I had just vocalized; but the Voice I was hearing was not hers. "Don't you recall studying about her life? Tell me, at what point did Kathryn Kuhlman attend church? Wasn't she persecuted by other ministers for not being grounded in a church? She despised religion and thrived solely on a relationship with Me. She did not operate in religion, and I don't expect you too either." With this new revelation, it's all coming back to me. Now the "impossible" isn't looking so impossible. "With God, ALL things are possible..." 

It's amazing how so much has changed; how I've come out of religion and come to despise it so. For years I have been in a rebellion against religion-hurt by what church people have done to me; sick of playing by the rules; sick of being what they all wanted me to be and feeling so resentful of it. It's difficult to separate people bound by religion from religion itself. They operate in the same way I used to. I was the worst of them all! Yet because they are covered in the scum and slime of religion, that's all I see. It's difficult not to look on them in disgust. Rather, I need to look on them with pity; knowing how miserable they must be, all the while pretending to be happy. I know that because i was the same way. Yet I was so incredibly jealous of those who were free to live their lives without all the rules and regulations set on me by the church (AKA: LEGALISM). 

So now, I'm seeking to come out of my hatred and look with a new perspective. Since making that decision and choosing to start fresh, I have noticed God speaking to me again. I have noticed Him revealing Himself to me in new ways. Yes, I am still rough around the edges. I am still abrasive, offensive, and "sandpaper"; in fact, I probably always will be. My beliefs now are controversial and will always offend someone. Yes, I still am bound my carnal habits and anger; but that is up to Yahweh, not religious people, to change. I cannot change it myself, as it has become so deeply ingrained as a part of who I've become in my rebellion against religion. Because i was not able to separate God from religion, I took out my anger on God and those who call themselves by His Name.

I have come to realize that not everyone that is inside the doors of the church are religious, just as not all of them are christians. It is only in writing this that I have had the revelation of the ones who are steeped in religion being covered by it, so that i can't see the person underneath. So what does that have to do with the passage God gave me when I was 9? I'm so glad you asked! Last night, I ws reading in Isaiah 40-46. Somewhere in those chapters, God brought some scriptures to my attention. I don't know the specifics of what the passage says, but it was something along the lines of God saying, "I have called you to open the eyes of those who have eyes but do not see; to set free those who are imprisoned." That seemed to echo the words of Acts 26... open their eyes to what? THE TRUTH; set them free from prisons of what? RELIGION! I get it now! I'm beginning to understand what God has called me to do... what He destined for me LONG ago, that I can only begin to understand now. 

Sincerely,

A Former Slave to Religion