If someone were to ask you, "how much are you worth?" What would your answer be? And if someone insenuated that you were only worth $100, would you be offended? How much do you value yourself? How high is your self-worth?
In One Night With The King, the King says to Hadassah, "Do you consider yourself of so little worth that i can purchase your love so cheaply?" I truly believe that though they do not voice it, many men wonder the same thing about us. Why would they think such a thing? Let's see....
When we chase after the guys, we show desperation. Out of our desperation, we express to the guys that we do not believe ourselves valuable enough to be pursued. Is that how we really feel? Is that why we go after the guys? Do we really feel that if we do not pursue the guys that they will not pursue us? Most likely, this is how we think. My ex-fiance' even told me, "stop pursuing me and allow me to pursue you. If you pursue me, I will stop pursuing you and back off altogether. But if you will back off and let me be the man, I promise I will pursue you." Men are put off by us pursuing them. They enjoy the chase.
When we don't accept their compliments... First of all, when a guy tells you you're beautiful and you blow it off and contradict him, you are slapping him in the face and calling him a liar. I have heard so many guys say they wished that women would just accept compliments and stop contradicting. Now typically when we contradict them, it's usually because we want them to argue with us and convince us. We fish for compliments. This usually results in the exact opposite reaction. Eventually the guy tires of trying to convince you and will eventually move on.
Something I have learned in my studies of and interactions with men is that they think confidence is sexy. They do not want to have to constantly reassure you of their feelings for you. They hate insecurity. Think hate is a strong word? Go on, ask guys yourself how they feel about insecurity! let's turn the tables around and see how much you would like it. When you turn the tables, you find out just how exhausting it is. You don't want to constantly be trying to fix what is broken. You don't have what it takes to do that. Instead you just want to enjoy the relationship. Think about the celebrities that you're attracted to. Do you think those men are insecure? HA! OF COURSE NOT! Some of them are sexy simply because they are confident. They are more charming, more captivating because of their confidence. That's what men think of women. They want us to be our confident, sexy selves. Stop pointing out your flaws. Chances are, he doesn't notice them until you call attention to them.
When you give your heart or body away so easily. Ladies, you may think times have changed. With women's liberations and all the equality movements out there, we have really ruined romance. Once upon a time, the man enjoyed the chase of the beautiful woman. He endured many hardships just to capture the attention of the alluring woman. She did not easily give her attention away. She was mysterious, thus more interesting... and yes, there's that word again, sexy. Men would trip over themselves to put their expensive coats over a puddle so the woman would not get her feet wet. Now we scoff at a man because he opens the door for us. We claim independence screaming in his face, "I'M PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF OPENING THE DOOR MYSELF!" And thus we have murdered chivalry. Ladies, don't complain that chivalry is dead because the murder weapon is in your hands. Instead of whining and complaining about men, rise up and be a real woman. Do something about it. Stop having sex with men because you think they'll love you. It doesn't work that way. When you give yourself away so easily, you may appeal to their sexuality, but you don't cause them to fall in love with you. Men have not changed over time. They love a challenge as much as they ever did. They want to have to work for your heart. If they don't want to work for it, they're not worth it.
I get so aggravated with modern women. We gripe and complain about men and what pigs they are. Yet we are the ones that have contributed to their behavior. A man will only go as far as you allow him to. When you remove those boundaries, you can't expect him to respect them any longer. We have removed the boundaries of sexuality in America. We have lost our self-worth. Want to know a secret about men?! Listen closely... look around and make sure no one's listening because this is a HUGE secret... are you ready for it?! MEN LOVE PURITY! Surprised? What makes women different from men? It goes beyond anatomic proportions. Women are supposed to be soft and delicate. We are supposed to be the opposite of the rugged man. We are supposed to be beautiful and graceful, sweet and delicate. If men wanted someone who smells, burps, passes gas, and talks like a sailor... they would hook up with other guys. Men don't want a replica of themselves. Men want a woman who is confident in her own skin and so different than the man. That's what intrigues them. They don't want you to be so pious and judgmental and think of them as the "icky, stinky man," either. They want us to respect them as the big strong heroes.
We have got to stop picking out our flaws and feeling sorry for ourselves. I really feel that's something God has been dealing with me about. Stop feeling sorry for yourself because the longer you do, the more of a delay you're putting on finding the love of your life. Men that are worth attracting are not attracted to insecure women throwing pity parties, feeling sorry for themselves. Men want women who are confident and challenge them.
Be yourself. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Wake up and realize your beauty. If it's something you can change, stop whining and do something about it. Otherwise, accept it and go on. You are a princess. Do you think princesses don't have flaws? Do you think celebrities don't have flaws? Have you ever seen a celebrity without makeup? Some of them are far uglier than any person I've ever seen... I say that not to be mean but to say that they are no different than the average woman except that they have high dollar makeup artists. They have to bleach facial hair just like the average woman. They have to shave just like you do. They have bad hair days when they don't have a stylist around to do their hair for them. Even with all their luxuries, they are still miserable. you don't have to be. You can choose to live a happy life. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and make a decision to believe you are beautiful.
I am not going to sugar coat my words and soften them so that they do not come across sounding so harsh. Tough. Sometimes we sugar coat things so much that they become nothing but sugar and the substance is lost. If women could just get the concept of who they are and raise the standard for masculinity, we could see a substantial change. So are we going to see a radical change? Are we going to choose to change our perception? Or are we going to continue feeling sorry for ourselves while the men secretly wonder, "Do you consider yourself of so little worth that i can purchase your love so cheaply?"
P.S. For those whom this hits a little harder, I apologize. It is not my attention to insult or offend. It is my purpose to inform and challenge you to a higher standard. Please understand my heart is for the protection of your heart. I don't want you to continue to inflict pain on your own heart. I want you to know your own worth. I want you to be proud of the woman you are and live your life to the fullest. Please realize that I am speaking this out of love, not out of criticism. I'm speaking to myself as well.
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