Singleness

You know... I was just thinking about singleness and how I've heard religious ppl say, "well, now, have you ever thought that maybe God called you to a life of singleness? If you're meant to have someone, he'll come along. If not, just be happy with God." Really? More religious BS! Why would God place a desire in my heart that He doesn't intend to fulfill? what happened to "ask it and it will be done" "He will give you the desire of your heart" and all those other scriptures. Don't give me this, "well if it's His will." Life reveals it's His will! He wouldn't have put male and female together if it wasn't His will. And If it wasn't His will for me, He wouldn't have put this desire in the depths of my heart. He wouldn't have given me a promise. He wouldn't have given me dreams of my future with a hubby and children. So for all you singles out there that are tired of the cliche' religious BS answers, take heart. God isn't so cruel to give you a deep burning desire for a mate if He didn't intend on giving you one. Just hang in there. God takes great joy in doing the "impossible". :)

I was listening to a podcast the other day about singleness and how difficult it is in "the wild". The hosts said exactly what I've expressed about how difficult it is to meet someone. The female host said something about how women enjoy the attention of men... how we enjoy when they look at us admiringly, etc. To an extent that is true. But over the past few years I have found myself hiding deeper and deeper in my cocoon so as to NOT be seen by men. Most people would say that's absurd. But before you jump to that conclusion, hear me out. My logic is simply this: I want to be seen for my heart, not for my sex appeal. I want to conceal my physical attributes until after my heart is seen. I frequently choose not to wear makeup, contacts, or clothes that are form-fitting. I don't want to be sexually appealing to men. Because of how I'm built, attention to my figure is inevitable. I'm often self-conscious about wearing certain clothes because I don't want that kind of attention. Sure, I want to be found attractive... but not to every man out there. I want a man to see my inward beauty first. I know, that's almost unreasonable to ask. I just want to be seen as a human being with a heart; not as a sexual object of your affection. I would rather hide away and conceal my physical beauty and accentuate my inner beauty. I don't mind if a man finds me attractive; but I'd like for him to show some respect and look into my eyes to find the woman underneath. I want a man to want to know my heart and not be consumed solely with his desire for my body. I guess the best way to end this is with one of my favorite quotes. "A woman should be so hidden in Christ that a man must seek Him to find her." THAT is my desire.